Occasionally, we will need to write messages of sympathy whenever a close friend or family member has to deal with the death of a loved one. We might find it hard to express our sympathies to them, because we all know that nothing we say could remove the pain that they are feeling at the moment. However, you should know that by saying something, it will make them feel better because they will know that you are sympathizing with their loss.
Before visiting a friend or relative who is mourning the loss of a loved one, we recommend that you write your own messages of sympathy on a card. In addition, before going to the funeral or wake, you may also want to write a sympathy message on a card or give a sympathy gift, which will show you care and help make the family of the deceased feel a little better.
Writing sympathy messages can be quite hard, because we are worried that we might say the wrong thing and possibly make the person feel worse. We have to be very careful when writing down our thoughts and be sensitive towards the person’s feelings. It is advisable to keep our condolences short, because people in grief will be receiving a lot of sympathy messages and will probably not have the energy to read long letters. Just a simple and sincere message is enough to let the other person know that you are with them during these hard times.
When writing sympathy messages you may want to include a short story or personal memory about the person who died. You can tell the person in mourning how the deceased touched your heart when they were still alive. Anecdotal stories could also be written, as these might bring a smile to your friend or relative’s face. Tell them that you are also in pain, because the deceased was also very important in your life. It is also ok for your story to be humorous, as long as it isn’t something that will offend the person in mourning or the one who died.
Even though you want the reader to know that you are in pain too, your sympathy message should not include words expressing that you know how they feel. We must understand that each person goes through a variety of emotions when a loved one dies, so it is not really possible that we could feel what the other person is feeling. You don’t want to try to compare a personal situation to theirs, simply tell them that you are feeling grief too and are there for them.
There are also some clichés that people might find impersonal or even annoying, so you should try not to use them when writing your messages of sympathy. Perhaps, the best way to write your sympathy message is to put yourself in your friend or relative’s situation and think what words you would want to hear from other people. This way, your message will be very sincere and the other person will instantly feel that your message is coming straight from your heart.
We must always put the utmost importance in our friend or relative’s feelings whenever we are writing our messages of sympathy. We must be very careful to choose the right words and not say anything offensive or that might make the person feel worse. Just be sincere when writing your sympathy messages and the person will surely feel a bit better knowing that you are there for them. For more help, click here to read some of our sample sympathy messages.
Updated: May 29, 2012