Understanding God and Death

| Grief Expert and Counselor

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God and DeathListen to the words of Mr. Tony Snow, former commentator, broadcaster, and press secretary to president George Bush.  These words were written a few months before Mr. Snow’s death in July of 2008.

“Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, – in my case, cancer.  Those of us with potentially fatal diseases – and there are millions in America today – find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God’s will.  Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence “What It All Means,” Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn’t spend too much time trying to answer the “why” questions: Why me?  Why must people suffer?  Why can’t someone else get sick?  We can’t answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.

I don’t know why I have cancer, and I don’t much care.  It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact.  Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape.  Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen.  We are imperfect.  Our bodies give out.

But despite this, – or because of it, – God offers the possibility of salvation and grace.  We don’t know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety.  The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system.  A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you.  Your heart thumps; your head swims.  You think of nothingness and swoon.  You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends.  You fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life, – and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth.  We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non believing hearts – an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away.  Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly, exuberantly – no matter how their days may be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts.  God relishes surprise.  We want lives of simple, predictable ease, – smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, – but God likes to go off-road.  He provokes us with twists and turns.  He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance; and comprehension – and yet don’t.  By His love and grace, we persevere.  The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariable strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.

Finally, we can let love change everything.  When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us.  He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city.  From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.

We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God’s love for others.  Sickness gets us part way there.

It reminds us of our limitations and dependence.  But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy.  A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples’ worries and fears.

Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not?  Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations?  Can we surrender our concern in things that don’t matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?

This is love of a very special order.  But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing.  The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense.  We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the awesome touch of God.

What is man that Thou art mindful of him?  We don’t know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow God’s hand.”

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| Grief Expert and Counselor

Dr. John D. Canine, Ed.D., Ph.D. is a noted author, professional speaker, educator and leading expert on grief and bereavement. He is currently the CEO of Maximum Living Consultants, Inc. and he...